CAN Get There From Here

When the world is a monster >>>Hotcha! Hank

BTW...

Giraffe Farts = Graphic Arts >>> Hotcha! Hank

The Doom Portal

I have no idea why it's called the DOOM PORTAL >>> Nobody knows >>> However, everybody around here knows that anybody and everybody who has ever entered the DOOM PORTAL has never come out >>> Gone, disappeared, never to return >>> Everybody knows this, and yet, from time to time, somebody will choose to enter >>> Will choose oblivion >>>

Now, some have argued that a very thick, very tall, very well-monitored, very heavily-armed wall should be erected around the DOOM PORTAL, to protect Thee ButterScotch Threshold, or at least those very rare among us who might choose to embrace it's dark mysteries >>> But that is not how Thee BST tends to operate >>> Life is about making choices, and some choose a very ancient suicide machine >>>Hotcha! Hank

Thee BST Bear

As far as ye olde ButterScotch Threshold website went, this image is really about as old as it gets >>> In fact, this Giraffe Fart existed before I even considered starting a website called the ButterScotch Threshold >>> When I did start the website, this very image of Thee BST Bear was on the front page >>> The next five years were a goofy, colorful blur >>>

Hotcha! Hank

Bob Hope's Big Dick

The above MUCKO! is the very first BOB HOPE BIG DICK MUCKO! I ever made and posted to Thee ButterScotch Threshold >>> I think it's brilliant >>>

There are some celebrities who are proven to have very large dicks >>> Milton Berle. Jeff Goldblum. David Duchovny >>> To name just three >>> Stories of their endownments are well-documented by many sources, and well known by the general public >>>

As far as I know, there were never any rumors about Bob Hope possessing a big dick >>> Oh sure, he had a reputation for being an insufferable prick to work with, but the size of his cock was never talked about among his friends, enemies, or well-wishers >>>

This lack of an endowment didn't keep me, however, from witlessly stumbling upon the idea of the BOB HOPE BIG DICK MUCKO!, which quickly became a series of MUCKO! featuring this particular, neverchanging image of Bob Hope and a caption of him spewing out assorted one-liners about his big dick >>> Just a bunch of old, old jokes we've all heard on our middle school playground >>> These BOB HOPE BIG DICK MUCKO!s quickly became a smash hit with all the BST Babycakes, and I cranked out a new one every week for about two years >>>

The above BOB HOPE BIG DICK MUCKO! mentioning MacArthur is the only one I'm aware of that doesn't really follow the general BOB HOPE BIG DICK MUCKO! template >>> When Bob Hope died in 2003, I decided to retire the feature with one last BLOW-OUT of Bob Hope and his imaginary BIG DICK >>>

Thus was THE BOB HOPE BIG DICK BONANZA! a classy, cock-filled send-off of a legend >>> And a legendary component of the bigger MUCKO! world >>>

The BOB HOPE BIG DICK BONANZA! feature brought the final tally of BOB HOPE MUCKO!s to an odd 125 >>> Among all of them, this last one is my favorite because it's in rather bad taste, even for a feature about the imagined size of Bob Hope's dick >>>

Hotcha! Hank

HANKATRON 1.4

Check it >>>

We all knew Ornette Yukahiro from Tape Jazz Massacre was working with Raytheon on a special project >>> A robot/AI program called HANKATRON >>> Some sort of man-machine coded to compose music and prepare sushi >>> HANKATRON, in honor of yr's truly >>> Now >>> Click on that picture for a better look at HANKATRON 1.4, circa January 1951 >>> 1951 and this means this whole HANKATRON 4.4 project that Ornette said he named after ME is bullshit >>> The man standing next to him is none other than Ornette's great-uncle Marty Yukahiro >>> This means that Ornette is completely full of shit regarding my honor >>> OR >>> Well, I could get into some elaborate conspiracy theory regarding my old man and the things he claimed he witnessed at AREA 29 >>> But, no >>> Ornette is full of shit, that's all there is to it, and now the entire HANKATRON thing means nothing to me >>> Not to mention, all my dad's stories are probably bullshit as well >>> And I bet Ornette isn't even doing work with Raytheon >>> I bet this is just some crackpot geekery he's hunched over down in the basement at Ghost Way Studios >>> Not even Big Jimmmmi's allowed down there >>>

I'll tell ya what, babycakes >>> If ya go digging through yr past, like I've been doing with the shoeboxes and cigar boxes of ButterScotch Threshold history, you never know what eye-popping artifacts of truth are waiting to slap you around >>> Other times, like now, they just kinda fall in yr lap, cuz when Ornette brought me that map of the Fortress Of Canadacore the other day, he also gave me a CDr full of assorted digital goodness >>> mp3's, samples, Tape Jazz Massacre projects, and folders full of assorted, seemingly random images >>> which included this one, with Hankatron and Marty Yukahiro's names right in the filename >>>

And once again, Ye Olde ButterScotch Threshold has shifted and become something different >>>

Hotcha! Hank >>>

BST Primer

More lost/forgotten Giraffe Farts from ye olde ButterScotch Threshold days...Suprisingly, there are no maps...

Hotcha! Hank